


Can't Let Go

by Lenaskale



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst With Bittersweet ending, Beca needs a hug, Emily Needs To Be Protected, F/F, I Want Ya'll To Cry, I also cant tag, I am trying to write sad things but I really cant, Jesse is in mexico filming a movie, Our Fav Is Dead, Our Other Fav is suffering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-09-17 23:14:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9350516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lenaskale/pseuds/Lenaskale
Summary: "'Cause, I built a home For you For me Until it disappeared From me From you And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust"-To Build a Home.Chloe is gone but Beca can't let go. She knows she should, but she just can't let go of Chloe. She's grasping the memories; allowing them to haunt her. Chloe is gone but Beca can't let go, and she may never let go.orChloe is dead and Beca is dealing with her death





	1. Chapter 1

"I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you  
Anywhere, I would've followed you"

The rain lightly drizzle as the male members of the Beale family slowly carry a black casket out the church. The men walk down the step with caution, careful to not slip and drop the casket. The casket which holds someone everyone loved. Following behind, Chloe's mother weeps endlessly as her sister holds her. At the end Trailing behind them is Beca Mitchell; holding a expressionless look. She's holding everything in her. She can't stumble, fall, and cause a scene. Yes, the pain is unbearable, but she must stay strong. Beca continues to hold the gaze when she watch the casket lower down to the ground. She can hear Chloe's mother weeping then the voice of Chloe's father whispering comforting words to his wife, attempting to not break down, but fucks sakes the man lost his daughter so he holds on tight to his wife, sobbing for he lost his little girl.

Beca stands expressionless, it doesn't feel real. It still doesn't feel real when the casket is lowered and is slowly being buried. It seems like she can't move; can't look away until a hand lands on her shoulder which makes her tear her attention away from the casket to the tall blonde; Aubrey Posen. She's staring at her with a tight lip that soon fade away as a choke sob escape her lips. It comes crashing down, everything comes rushing in. The sudden pain her heart stabs. She touches her chest for it burns. Beca feels her hot tears free falling like a waterfall.

"Aubrey, this is real!" She cries out then points to the casket,"Chloe is- Chloe is-"

She couldn't finish the sentence for she choke on her own tears. Beca knees become like jelly, she's shaking then slowly falls, but Aubrey swoops in to catch Beca, embracing her before the brunette can fall to the ground.Aubrey and her weren't the best of friends- hardly consider friends- more like best friend of my girlfriend so I have to be nice. The two always had this tension towards each other- Aubrey may piss her off a lot and she may as well piss the blonde off but at this moment- the two need each other more than ever. Beca may lost her best friend and lover but Aubrey also lost someone special; her best friend of so many years. Aubrey lost the one person who stayed with her, supported her when her father didn't, Aubrey lost something she can never have again.

The two hug tightly before they separate.

"If you need someone to talk, I'm here for you."Aubrey sadly whispers.

"Same to you."Beca looks away.

The blonde gives her hand a squeeze before she walks over to Chloe's parents to drive them home.

Jesse soon replace the empty space.

"Beca, it's raining hard, you should go home."Jesse whisper softly, grabbing her hand.

"I can't go back home when Chloe is here," She wipes a tear,"When she's here alone."

"You'll get sick if you continue to stand here in the rain."

"Good. Maybe I'll get sick enough to die."

Jesse grabs her by both shoulders, his expression hardens,"Beca, do not say that, okay?" The brunette looks away,"Let's go, I'm driving you home."

He pulls on her arm but Beca slip her arm out of his grip,"No. I'll drive home. You go home and comfort Aubrey because she needs you more." Jesse nods, understanding that Beca needs to be alone. He knows her enough that her way of processing this is to be alone, so he walks, stops then turns,

"Beca, please be careful."

He then turns around and head towards the parking lot. Beca stays alone with her thoughts, feeling every single beat her broken heart makes. Beca can't tell if it's her tears or the rain that's blurring her vision. It's odd how the world decide to rain today as if it also feels the loss.

_'Why does losing someone hurts this much?'_

_'Because Chloe wasn't just someone. She was the moon and the stars, she was your universe.'_

She takes one look before she heads out. Her thoughts seem to run on five words; _I should of stop her._

 

* * *

 

Arguments between Chloe and Beca were rare but when they fought; they fought badly. This time however; seem to be really bad.

 

_The brunette glares at the redhead who is pacing back and forth,_

_"Seriously Chloe, I don't see what the problem is?"_

_"That's just it Beca! You never seem to know what the problem is!"_

_"Well sorry I can't pinpoint what the problem is this time!"Beca cross her arms over her chest."What is it this time Beale?"_

_"Oh, so you want to know?"_

_"I did ask, didn't I?" She snap back with sarcasm ._

_"God! you're such an asshole!" Chloe shouts. She shakes her head, "You been so distance lately. You spend all your time on your laptop and work."_

_Beca rolls her eyes, "Oh my god, this again?" She crosses her arms," Chloe, I'm busting my ass off so I can be where I want to be!"_

_"But you never spend anytime with me!" She stop pacing and turn to Beca,"I miss spending time with you."_

_"I don't have time to waste!"_

_"Oh so you're saying I'm a waste of time?!"_

_"Oh my god, that's not what I'm saying!"_

_"Then what are you saying?" Chloe ask once again pacing back and forth._

_"What I'm saying is I can't let you hold me back from succeeding!"I n that moment, Beca knew she fucked up. It's not what she meant- she didn't mean it._

_That sentence seem to catch Chloe off guard since the Redhead stop pacing and stare at the brunette with her mouth slack._

_"Oh so I'm holding you back now?!"Chloe cries._

_"Chloe that's-"_

_"-No, say it!"Chloe shouts,"Say it!"_

_"Fuck fine! You want to hear it? You want to hear me say that you're holding me back from my success?"Beca couldn't shut her mouth- anger fill her body and whenever she angry- she says things she doesn't mean."You want me to say that your distracting me from my career? Is that what you want to hear?"_

_Tears fill Chloe's eyes as she swiftly heads out the door."Chloe no wa-"_

_"-No don't even try Beca. I'm leaving since I'm holding you back!"Chloe furiously walks out in the rain towards her car._

_"Fine leave then! I don't fucking care!"Beca shouts as the car drives out the driveway of their house onto the rainy streets- never to return back..._

 

* * *

 

Beca holds herself tightly as the memory plays through her mind. Thoughts of 'what if' and 'Could of' runs through her mind. Sorrow is pointing at her with a stick while guilt is slapping her. She knows it's her fault, that maybe she should have apologies or stop Chloe from driving off in the rainy streets. Maybe if she didn't let her anger out, just maybe, Chloe would be alive.

She's a idiot for not stopping her,"This is all your fault, Chloe's blood is on my hands."

She rubs her teary eyes as she walks closer to her car where she'll drive back home...

Not home, just a building that is fill with memories...


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily checks on Beca

" _Nobody said it was easy No one said it would be this hard_."

Beca opens her eyes slowly, seeing nothing but darkness. She realize the curtains are shut close which cause a throbbing pain in her chest once again. Chloe was the one who opened the curtains to bring in sunlight then she would joked about Beca being a vampire when the brunette would complained about the sudden burst of sunlight. Beca shifts uncomfortably to her left side, avoiding to see the empty side of the bed. She holds herself because Chloe isn't here to hold her anymore. The bed seems too big and empty for just herself- it's also too cold for her. She rubs her feet together, attempting to warm them up but it's still freezing cold- her feet were always the coldest part of her body that's why Chloe would tangle her legs around them to keep them warm... she feels tears whelming up as one memory hits her.

* * *

_Beca wraps one blanket around her feet while the other covers her body._

_she can't but think 'Winter is such a pain in the ass.'_

_She was so thankful that she did not have classes today; thankful to be staying indoors in her room while it's snows. Although she's cover in layers of blankets, the cold seem to still sneak to her which brings her to rub her arms to bring warmth. She was ready to get up and steal the heater from downstairs when her name was called._

_"Beca, are you here?" She hears Chloe shout from downstairs._

_"I'm in my room!"Beca shouts hoping Chloe can hear her. Beca can hear Chloe mumbling about how freezing it is then the sound of her footsteps going up the stairs . The brunette couldn't help but smile when the redhead walks in- it's this effect Chloe has on Beca; whenever she's around Beca can't help but smile and feel... happy. It's really unexplainable. She can't really pinpoint what she feels around Chloe; the bubbling feeling in her stomach, the urge to smile, and the wanting of being closer to the redhead sunshine._ _Yes, it struck her odd- this unknown feeling she has yet discover what it is, but that's for later to think about because right now Chloe is walking in her room with an cute, lazy grin, with tiny bits of snow on her beanie._

_"Hey," Chloe removes her boots, lazily throwing them on the floor. She removes her beanie then sweater revealing a grey long sleeve-_

_"Isn't that my grey long sleeve?" Beca pulls on the sleeve._

_Chloe pushes her hand away and takes a sit on the bed, "Doesn't matter, scoot over." The brunette moves over to leave room for the redhead. "It's so cold." Chloe slips under the covers, sighing when she feels warmth. Beca watch as the woman next to her closes her eyes with a smile. Beca smiles to herself before turning on her side, smile even bigger when she feels Chloe wrap around her, bringing her closer._

_Chloe tangle her legs on Beca's cold feet making them warm. Then that feeling in her stomach, that bubbly feeling. She then take note of how her heart skip a beat when Chloe brought her closer, holding her tighter. That's when she knew, knew what this feeling is- but that's for later to think about because right now Chloe is holding her tight, bringing the perfect warmth she needed._

_Beca doesn't need another blanket or heater to keep her warm, she has Chloe for that._

* * *

A knock at her front door interrupt her memory. She wipes off the falling tears and slowly walks out her room. She paused at the front door, ' _It's not her."_ She tells herself _'She isn't going to magically appear'_

She takes a deep breath and opens the door; Beca should have expected Emily to be here. Of course the young girl would be the first one to check on her.

"Hey Beca, I brought breakfast." Emily lifts a bag of _Taco Bell_. "I know you love their breakfast burritos." Of course the young girl would not only check on her but bring her favorite food as well. Beca moves to the side to allow the young woman inside. Beca shuts the door and follow Emily to the dining area. She watches as the young woman pulls out the burritos and placing them on the table, she then crumbles the bag and place it to the side. Beca silently sits on the chair and grab one burrito. She can feel Emily watching her as she takes a bite.

_'She's probably checking that you aren't starving yourself'_

"Can you stop staring at me?!"Beca snap which made the other woman jump. Emily mutters a quick sorry and takes a bite of her own burrito. Beca pinch the bridge of her nose, she sighs, "No. I'm sorry, I'm just-"

"-It's been hard on everyone," Emily reach over to grab Beca's hand but she pulls back."Uh- I made the studio put -"

"-You know what Emily?"Beca scratches the back of her neck," I have some stuff to do, so I have to ask you to leave." She doesn't want to be rude or mean to the younger woman- especially since the girl is only checking on her. But she needs to deal with this alone.

She's was so used to dealing with things alone until...

she shakes her head-

_'Don't you dare cry in front of Emily.'_

"Oh. I'm bothering you, aren't I?" Emily fingers fidget as she continues to ramble," It's just... it been so hard for me so that why I made our studio place a wall in honor for Chloe. There's photos of her and the wall is yellow just like her favorite co-"

"-Emily can you just please stop." It hurts. Just talking about the other woman hurts. She understands where Emily is coming from, but Beca isn't ready to talk about Chloe. Anything remotely retable to Chloe brings her chest pains, it makes her stomach tighten, and she won't stop crying.

Emily shut her mouth and she look away mostly trying to hide the tears in her eyes. Beca too has tears whelming her eyes because of just everything that has happen. Just a week ago, Chloe was alive. Just a week ago, Emily was watching movies with Chloe and her. Just a week ago, she was happy. Just a week ago, everything seemed fine until that night. The terrible night; regretful night.

_'It's all your fault'_

_'Emily is here crying in your dining area because of you.'_

_'You got Chloe killed and have her family devastated .'_

_'It's all your faul-'_

"It's hard on everyone so I thought we can help each other get through this, but you don't want me here and that's okay so I'll let be." Emily stands up and heads towards the door with Beca leading the way out. Emily understands the way Beca is- she needs to be alone, but oh how lonely it is. The younger brunette knows that Beca needs time alone, but sometimes she needs someone- but she also knows that someone was Chloe. She pause at the open front door, "You don't need to do this alone, I'm here for you." Beca looks away, having nothing to say, "Love you, please take care."

The older brunette closes the door after she quietly mumbles, "Take care too."

She can't say love - it doesn't feel right. Love... She isn't sure she can love anything right now- not when her heart is in pieces...

Beca leans against the shut door, taking in the silence of the house. The house that was once filled with sweet whispers and sayings of love and joy. A house that was once so alive and bright, but now feels dead, dark, with nothing but endless memories.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I also would like to say thank you for Kudos and lovely comments (:  
> You can see my trashiness on my Tumblr @Super-Fangirl-Corp

**Author's Note:**

> You guys can contact me on Tumblr  
> @Super-Fangirl-Corp
> 
> Thank you for reading.


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